A while back a co-worker became an aerobics instructor and after a few minutes of conversation I came up with the idea of being a physical trainer like Billy Blanks and that guy off of Celebrity Fit Club. The catch would be I would still be the same size I am now. I would were all spandex and maybe a basketball jersey with my name on it. Leg warmers - glitter - full face of make-up. I would always have a towel matching my jersey and a water bottle. I am forever thirsty from the workout and sweaty - actually I don't work out or sweat but just drink and dab like it. The whole thing is foolish. I am able to motivate millions across the globe to lose weight - without ever having to exercise myself. I show them the basic steps at snail speed and then when they got it I increase the speed and intensity. I may show them a little kick, but after "higher and faster" it because a waist high kick. Oprah invites me on her show after she swears by my program.
All is going grand for me and I even tour the world trying to help people find the beauty within. I donate and have fund raisers for poor families and give to the community.
Yet one day, my name is belittled by haters. I go on one talk show and the host calls me fat. I was humiliated, but I was not about to let him take my whole life's work with one word. I said, "Yes, I might be overweight, I might even be fat, but I love myself and there are millions out there that were down and out and I was able to show them how to love who they were." Then he challenged me to do my own exercises and said I couldn't even do them. I said, "I don't have to do them, I have people doing them right now all over." His phone board blew up. My fans called in saying how much they loved me and how beautiful I was at any size and ridiculed the host for being so disrespectful to me.
This had me cracking up for a good while. When I applied it to sisterlocks, would I go to a relaxed consultant? Nawl.