Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Relaxed Consultant - Overweight Physical Trainer

A while back a co-worker became an aerobics instructor and after a few minutes of conversation I came up with the idea of being a physical trainer like Billy Blanks and that guy off of Celebrity Fit Club. The catch would be I would still be the same size I am now. I would were all spandex and maybe a basketball jersey with my name on it. Leg warmers - glitter - full face of make-up. I would always have a towel matching my jersey and a water bottle. I am forever thirsty from the workout and sweaty - actually I don't work out or sweat but just drink and dab like it. The whole thing is foolish. I am able to motivate millions across the globe to lose weight - without ever having to exercise myself. I show them the basic steps at snail speed and then when they got it I increase the speed and intensity. I may show them a little kick, but after "higher and faster" it because a waist high kick. Oprah invites me on her show after she swears by my program.

All is going grand for me and I even tour the world trying to help people find the beauty within. I donate and have fund raisers for poor families and give to the community.

Yet one day, my name is belittled by haters. I go on one talk show and the host calls me fat. I was humiliated, but I was not about to let him take my whole life's work with one word. I said, "Yes, I might be overweight, I might even be fat, but I love myself and there are millions out there that were down and out and I was able to show them how to love who they were." Then he challenged me to do my own exercises and said I couldn't even do them. I said, "I don't have to do them, I have people doing them right now all over." His phone board blew up. My fans called in saying how much they loved me and how beautiful I was at any size and ridiculed the host for being so disrespectful to me.

This had me cracking up for a good while. When I applied it to sisterlocks, would I go to a relaxed consultant? Nawl.


blackrussian said...

Just started my blog a few months ago and have yet to join the exchange. I also don't comment much because so many of the posts that have resonated with me are months or years old. In other words, I felt like the moment was past. But I wanted to tell you that I like your sense of humor. This post is funny.

Please drop by and visit my blog "Sisterlocked in SC". I live in SC about a three hour drive from High Point. And one of my best friends lives in Greensboro.

I've been wanting to connect with other Sisterlocked women in the Carolinas because I love what the women in DFW are doing. It would be great if a small band of us in this area could get together a few times a year in a Centralized location like Charlotte. Let me know what you think of this idea.

Carmen In NC said...

Heck yeah. I know Ayana my consultant has an interesting group of ladies that will keep us entertained for hours. I just came back from your album and I enjoyed and commented a lot. I love a blog. Thank you for the compliments.