Saturday, April 28, 2007

Advice from Single Women - Continued

Zaharah's comment to my last post 'Don't Take Advice of a Single Woman on Relationships' sparked me to thinking. Here is her comment...

"You are SO RIGHT! There are a lot of bitter women out there who are angry at men and they don't want to see another woman happy in a relationship! If you listen to them, you will end up just as lonely as they are and with a lot of regrets. Follow YOUR HEART and YOUR OWN INSTINCTS. Forget about their standards. Most of the time, these women don't even think for themselves. They adhere to standards that society dictates they should have and those standards are steeped in shallowness and frivolity to begin with."

OMG, I wonder if these society standards are set to keep black women from dating and marrying black men. I understand there are red flags that you shouldn't ignore and some standards are criticle to some people. But if I picked my friends using the same criteria that they have for deciding who to date - then I wouldn't have any friends at all. I know I'm not marrying a friend girl, but I trust her and love her with my whole being and want to receive that same unconditional love.

All of them have killjoy, pessimistic, egotisical attitudes - like they sweat diamonds and their shit smells like linen spray.

So, birds of feather flock together. Association brings on assimilation. What do my friends say about me? I'm an evil, selfish, bitter heifer. That's so not me. As of today, these women have got to go. They don't even read my blog. Ciara's first language is Spanish so she can't even read it.


Zaharah said...

They say that birds of a feather flock together and I think there is SOME truth to that.

We are all works in progress and not everyone is at the level of awareness where they can see past the nonsense they have been taught to believe as truth. Thank God that you possess that level of awareness. Maybe you are the one in the bunch to challenge and encourage your friends to reevaluate their way of thinking, question their values and change their attitudes. Some will be receptive to it. Some will continue to try to bring you down to their level so that you can share in their misery. Those are the ones you may want to eliminate from your life.

I think that people who are independent thinkers and who go against the grain in this society are never the popular ones. Whenever you choose the road less traveled, you will find that a lot of people you THOUGHT were friends will just start dropping by the wayside. A lot of people can't deal with the fact that you are analytical and you don't just go along with things because society says you should or because that's what everyone else is doing. The few friends that you do in fact end up with in the long run will be TRUE friends indeed.

dreamangel75 said...

Zaharah, you made a lot of goods points.

Carmen, I think your gut can tell whether it is jealousy influencing the opinion(s) or someone being genuine. Usually, if the person is overall a decent person, the two of you have a wonderful friendship and this friend is commenting negatively on your guy, it might be worthwhile to pay attention to the things he/she is pointing out. Sometimes, when we are in love, we become blind to or brush off the red flags.

Ultimately, you know what you can and cannot tolerate in a relationship. Therefore, the decision is entirely up to you and the friend will have to respect your decision whether you agree or disagree with his/her comments.