Monday, September 28, 2009

Sisterlocks are not Relaxers

I'm belong to a few groups and questions come up about how will they look. Will they be neat? Will they be frizzy? Will they bunch up? Why do the ends look like this? Then there are comments about the ugly stages. Ugly? Natural hair? Ugly? Locks? Ugly?

Maybe it's me and the fact that I have the impossible hair and the patience of Job with it. Maybe, I really, really wanted locks so badly that I don't give a rat's furry behind as to how they turn out. It's better than what I was doing before!

No one knows how long it will take your hair to lock or how they will look. I can tell a person it can take six months if they have a tight texture or grin promisingly while telling another person that it might take years. Each persons hair is different. The best someone can offer is a guess of what someone experienced who hair is similar to yours. I personally think that telling someone that their locks will look like this and that is doing that person a disservice.

Sisterlocks are not fast food dreadlocks. They are not locked instantly and they may not come out your way. What they will be is teeny, weeny DREADLOCKS. Yes, I said it, DREADLOCKS. I have found that when I use the term more with my clients and other people that it puts it into perspective for them. That this is really my hair. My hair is matted up and the shed hairs are still in there.

Which brings me to that term, in my opinion, I think people don't like 'dreadlocks' because they are secretly trying to run from what a dreadlock really is. By calling it another term, it makes it less of a lock and more like a hairstyle. People say they don't like the term because there is nothing dreadful about their hair. Then why not embrace it and let it be. Stop being scared of your own hair. Do you find that frizz on your lock dreadful? Is that bunching dreadful?

People, if you are trying to escape the nappy then get a relaxer, not Sisterlocks. If you are not ready to let go and let hair, then don't get Sisterlocks.

Please have an open mind and fully understand that Sisterlocks uses your very own hair, woven by hand and is not the natural equivalent to a relaxed hair do.

18 comments:

Stormee said...

I agree, you have to love your nappy hair. I love the nappyness of my hair buy if you don't love your hair nappy, that's ok, but Carmen is right, don't get locks. Folks are always so surprised when I tell them that if I decided not to wear locks anymore that I will have to cut my hair. It is permanent. But I also say that this is the way I wear my hair, it is not a hairstyle that I plan on changing. This is a very informative article.

NEA said...

Girl!
AMEN!!! That's just like folks who CONSTANTLY lament about nappy hair frizzing up, or/and shrinking up. Nappy hair frizzes up. It shrinks, too. What?

Yes, you have to LOVE nappy hair. Not "like" it, because if you don't grasp its properties, you will always be frustrated, sad and distracted.

MyFawny said...

This is the first time in a long time I have read of someone using the word nappy. People seemed to be offended by it. I wasn't, I am PROUD of my hair and the texture of my hair. I get that it has negative connotations, but people have been trying to convince me that they have embraced words like "bitch", "n__gr" & "gay" to take the power back, yet we can't embrace the texture of our hair? Yet Joy Bryant gets to spout off about her love of hair weaves?
I love my locs and wouldn't trade them for the world. I am thankful that my nappy hair texture made it easier to loc.
I love my hair.

Luvi said...

AMen! I have client who doesn't like me to refer to them as dreadlocks ...so I say dreadlocks whenever we talk and she will correct me and say Sisterlocks.... LOL it's hilarious to me...but I am so glad she stop the relaxing...our folks need to embrace their natural self.

Cashana said...

I am finding it easier to just not say anything in reference to the unrealistic expectations of folks and their Sisterlocks. I am 2 years 8 months into this journey and I ain't completely locked. My hair looks better two weeks after retightening and I wish it was nappier, but it ain't so I deal. I love my locks, because they are mine and will not look like anyone elses. Locking is what my hair is doing and I personally don't like when folks call my hair dreadlocks, because often it is used in the negative and it just recently happened the day after my birthday. I thanked the person for the backhanded compliment, but I did slip in lock. For some reason Dreadlocks have always been associated in my mind to the more organic and Rasta type locks. Either way, they are the same just the words have different meaning for different folks. Good entry.

BlessedGemLady said...

Well, I guess that needed to be said ... and I couldn't have said it better. I'm still going through the process of accepting my loose curl pattern = frizzy locks. I'd never seen that type of lock before so although I knew my SLs would be unique, I also assumed that like "all" SLs, all the loose hairs would be sucked up and compacted in the lock. Not so with mine. But guess what? When I look at my hair as a whole (AND after the not-locked yet ends have been curled - LOL!), I am so in love with my hair and my SLs. No more worries if I accidentally scratched my scalp the day before a perm (which BTW ALWAYS happened!). And no more getting fried under the hair dryer for hours. I'm grateful for the chance to see my hair for what it really is. Life is soooo good with my SLs!

Alaiyo said...

All I can say is: AMEN to that!

NubianLockedPrincess said...

Girl! you hit it the nose! I get so tired of telling people that I have dreadlocks and not braids. You cannot take them down like braids and yes this is my hair and I did not get it from the African braiding salon! I tell anyone my dreads represent God`s gift to me! If you cannot take the frizzy and nubian look of dreads or natural hair, do you by relaxing your hair and leave me the hell alone!

As imperfect as my locs are, they are unique only to me and I love then for that!

Nubian1 said...

I must admit that i dont like my locks being referred to as DREADLOCKS, simply as you mentioned because it comes from the word DREADFUL. As a positive person I find it had to use the word though when i have to write it down i'd spell it as DREDZ which in itself is pretty cool. Hey maybe we can put a spin on it and refer to them as D lightful Dredz.....do you think it will catch on????? LOL

new2locs said...

I so love this post & all of the comments that it recieved. Excellent!!! Oh yeah & by the way.... I love my nappy dreaded hair!!!! LOL I loved my loose naps & I really love my dreaded naps. I love the way it feels, it's texture, it's length and I love that it's healthy.

Spiral-Loc said...

I like this post Carmen~

It is on point! Even though I am rocking Ext. Braids, I do not call/consider them locks {even though my hair is locking}. I will
call them locks next year when I take the ext. out.

Take Care~

sunsail said...

Heh. Folks back home call me rasta. any correction or education on their part would be totally lost, so I just take it as a compliment and keep on truckin'.

sunsail said...

Oops, i meant "on MY part."

anthia-ofo said...

Preach on sis! I really don't care what anyone calls my locs. I've learned to deal with and love what I have and I'm truly thankful for my nappy/afro hair.

Naturally Sophia said...

well said Carmen well said

cheleski said...

shaking my head, the ignorance is deep,keep educating my sista. it's definitely mental

CaribSun said...

I find it amazing how so many of my friends and colleagues just cannot accept their natural hair. I have two colleagues in particular who complain bitterly that their relaxer doesn't ever last more than a couple of days, before their hair gets thick and curly again. It seems obvious to me that the solution to this is to just allow the hair to go natural. Telling them this is like talking to a brick wall. Our non-acceptance of our hair runs really deep in the psyche.

Eesha said...

I couldn't agree more. This is a great post!